Let me out of here pt 2: Alone

I feel really alone.  I asked for someone to look over my resume (on the debil aka. facebook) and I get snarky comments (mostly along the lines of "why don't you take your husband's resume and just put your name on it!"). Yeah, that feels great. Thanks guys.

I just posted a note begging for help with anything at all (work has been insane, truly insane, and I'm packing and sorting alone)--I'm horribly overwhelmed and horribly stressed out. I did get one response (a SAHM is available to come help me but only during the hours when she knows I work). If I could get a few days off this wouldn't be an issue.

I keep wanting to run out the door. I hate that I need this income right now. I hate it.

There's no actual point to this other than a need to vent somewhere.  The one group of friends I was venting to has basically said they don't want to hear any of it until I no longer work here--guess I vented too much.

There are multiple events this week/weekend. I just canceled one for this evening.  I will probably cancel tomorrow's too.  There are 2 parties Saturday (and I think one Sunday).  At least one of those was already on the chopping block but I'm beginning to think it's major anti-social time.

I thought my mom could come help me but neither she nor my dad have had great health lately.

I'm in this alone and it's really hard.

I need a job in Los Angeles and I need one now.

Let me out of here!!!!

I need to get out of here, now.  SO, I've not updated in a long time (sorry).  DH got a job in CA. So I am leaving.  I don't have a job yet but we have an apt. there and I may have found a daycare yesterday (they have an opening in 2 wks).

All signs today say RUN RUN RUN AWAY! 

I need to find a job. I need to do this now.  I've been putting it off.

I need out of here. Panic. Total panic. My current day job is in an institution that is a horrible sinking ship.

i just canceled swimming tonight so I can apply for jobs.

I just found the coolest sewing blog!!! OMG!

http://presserfoot.blogspot.com/

I just stumbled on this.  I love, love, love the stuff she's made!  I plan to use up some of my stash in an attempt to make one of the ruffly scarves (I'll use silk). 


In boring job hunting news: DH is now being courted by 4 companies (most in SF).  The latest may let him work from here for a while (this would be a mixed blessing--good financially but would mean I'm stuck in this gig for a while). Oh well.  I'm just crossing my fingers he gets a job (and one he likes). 

In other news, I now have a vagulely professional sewing gig.  A buddy of mine is opening a store in her little town in MT and has asked me to design/sew some inventory for her.  So far, I've made 3 burp cloths (not a lot, but my time is seriously limited).

I guess that's it for now.  TGIF!!!

California?

DH has had a couple interviews with companies in Northern CA. So, the job search focus has changed for me.  I need to find jobs to apply for and then actually apply for them. :)

I'm stressing about cash but at least DH is trying to get a job with a nice steady paycheck.

Crossing my fingers this all works out.

NYC?? Texas?? Somewhere else???

Pardon the current obsessing over various places.  I am overly focused on the idea of escaping the Land of Entrapment (if only for a year or so). 

DH has an interview in a city where I can't find anything I'm qualified for that will pay a decent wage *cough* NYC *cough*. But I've looked into it and apparently there are places that are affordable to live in the area--so there's that (some detached houses with tiny little yards--SQUEE).  And if he made enough, I could loaf about for a while and/or get some little froof part time gig (which would be amazingly awesome and would completely fix this whole burn out problem I have).  Also, New York is a much cooler city (that goes without saying, but still). The downside--it's colder there. If I whine about it being too cold in the Southwest, and I do, then I'm pretty sure the first couple of winters would kick my ass.

The job posting for the job I applied for has closed.  So they're reviewing applications.  I guess we'll see if I get a bite.

Another possibility is the Austin area of Texas (not quite as cool as NYC but super cheap). IDK.  This uncertainty is annoying at best. Bah.

I want a new job. And, I want to move. 

Are people in my job in NYC homeless or what?

That, my friends, is the question of the day.  DH applied for a job in NYC and if he gets it, he'll take it.  Naturally, I looked into jobs in my current field.  The cost of living is 59% higher than here.  The pay for the equivalent of my job is about 10-20% lower in NYC. How does that work exactly?

Clearly you couldn't really rent an apartment on that pay (I'd starve on that pay here).  You couln't buy a place on that pay. 

So you'd be expected to show up to work in professional attire (which you'd store under a bridge or something). Would you eat out of trash cans? Seriously, how the fuck would you live on that pay somewhere that expensive.

If DH got a high paying job and my pay could just be for savings etc., it wouldn't be too bad I guess.  I want a job where I could support us if/when needed. This shouldn't be too much to ask.

On becomming a real grownup at the ripe old age of 30something

Ya know what I'd kill for right now?  A massage, a facial and a margarita! Being a real grown up means not spending money on any or all of the above when I cannot afford it.  Alas, no massage, facial or margarita for me.

I decided to make myself learn to plan meals, and eat at home the majority of the time (not just fast food but actual food prepared in my home--gasp), even for lunch.  This is motivated by money.  I can't afford to be lazy and only cook when I really want to.

The plan:
Step 1: Tell DH things have to change (check). He's not making any cash so he gets to deal with my new system--tragically the new system involves more work for me.  He took it well and seems to be on board.

Step 2: Develop a vague plan of what we might eat this week (the plan included PB&J, grilled cheese, and um chicken and maybe some veggies)--not much of a shopping list but I've never excelled at planning meals more than 3 hours in advance.

Step 3: Shopping (Piglet and I enjoyed this step).  For $57, we left the store with what might actually be enough food for the week (or pretty close).  Considering that I've been spending over $10 on lunch alone during the week, this is pretty awesome and has motivated me to cook.

Step 4: Prep some meals in advance to keep this project from failing miserably.  I managed to chop and freeze 2 onions and prepare a meal to cook later (yes 1--to my credit I have a minor sinus infection and needed a nap). 

Step 5:  Profit! 

So it's Tuesday.  I've managed to eat at home for lunch both work days (and DH is remarkably on board).  I've made 2 dinners in a row (this never happens during the week).  My only expense in the past 2 days was my daycare check.  

If I keep this up, I may be able to at least afford the margarita in a few weeks. :)

Husker Du!

Piglet's current favorite game is Husker Du!  A co-worker of mine gave me her old copy (it was her daughter's favorite board game).  It's a memory game where you place pawns over pictures and then pick out matches.  It's quite simple and quite easy to scale the difficulty level.  You can place the pawns and then turn the wheel to change the location of the images to make the game more challenging.  We frequently will pick out 5 or 6 pairs and just play with those since Piglet is new to board games. She has a lot of fun playing and it's a nice change from Blue's Clues (baby is currently cracked out on Blue's Clues).  My co-worker's daughter is absolutely thrilled that a little girl has and loves it.  Hooray for hand-me-downs!

I had natto udon for breakfast.  Are you jealous? It was so awesome (leftover from last night's dinner). Also, I scored free ice cream today. And I slept fairly well last night for the first time this week.Hooray!

Ojos in my butt!

Piglet is 2.  Two year olds are talky little creatures, at least mine is.  Piglet has a large vocabulary (in English).  Piglet is learning a bit of Spanish at daycare.  This is great and encourages me to brush up on my Spanish (I haven't but the thought occurs to me).

Unfortunately, this has spawned the "ojos in my butt" joke.  It was probably funny in a startling/immature way the first time. It's really not funny any more.  I thought "butt jokes" were hilarious and awesome right around the age of 5 or 6.  I'm really not ready for butt jokes.  There are downsides to teaching kiddos to speak.

That said, almost certainly when I pick up Piglet, she will say, "there are ojos in my butt!" and laugh hysterically, rinse repeat.

So far, this joke has mostly been told in the car.  I understand, car rides are boring.

I need to teach baby that something else is equally hilarious that's slightly less embarrassing to me should she yell it out in public. But really, how does a mom-approved joke compete with "there are ojos in my butt!"

On music

I'm fairly obsessed with music.  So here's my album of the week.  It's perfect "stressed out at work" music. Not too sleepy,not too bouncy.  

I should probably have something intelligent to say about this but I'm too tired and tonight will be night 4 of virtually no sleep. Lovely, just lovely.

Tired, frustrated, late

Poor Piglet, my 2 year old, is sick.  Illness in a 2 year old is generally expressed in waves of epic tantrums.  Piglet woke up crying and making whiny little raspy sounds that might have been words.  I could have racked up major Mommmy Karma last night if not for the 3 previous nights of Piglet-related lack of sleep--instead I was frustrated and grouchy.  I whined back begging Piglet to PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SLEEP!!!

Getting dressed was a major battle, getting into the car seat took 2 adults, there was screaming and the like all the way this morning.  Poor little piggy.

I was late to work, naturally, and the pile on my desk is insane.

There is not enough coffee in the world.  Ugh.

evening goals

My goals for the evening are simple and few (though likely to be thwarted because I think my toddler is coming down with a cold--poor bear).
1.  Play my guitar
2. Clean my floors
3.  Cook dinner

1 will probably happen after the munchkin is asleep if at all.  At 2, munchkin likes to help--this is cute for about 5 seconds and then quickly becomes annoying beyond words. I need to get munchkin a small cheap guitar of some sort--this might solve the problem at least somewhat and I could pretend I'm being wonderfully educational and forming my own little Mozart (minus the negative aspects of his character, of course).

2 will happen. I recently picked up a Bissell Quicksteamer thing. Best $80 I've ever spent OMG.  I can clean my floors in less than 1/4 the time better than ever before (and it uses so much less water than mopping the hard floors.  My lovely cats (who are fortunate to be cute and cuddly) have a favorite spot in the living room.  Since I've been using my new floor cleaning thingy with the pet formula of cleaning solution, they've mostly stopped using the spot and I'm coming home less frequently to a cat scented house. Oh how I love this thing.  I saw a deluxe model for pet hair and the like and very nearly bought it (except I was 1000 miles from home and the one I have is only about 2 months old).














3. I'm not sure on this goal.  I have the makings for a great (and simple) sausage pasta (pasta, basil and tomato from the garden, artichoke hearts, cheese, olive oil), but I'm also pretty lazy when it comes to food during the week.  We shall see.

addition: So, I managed dinner.  It was awesome. I'm exhausted. It's been a long day.

Introduction

Hello!  I suppose I should introduce myself, it's only fair after all. I'm a 30 something mother of 1. I work full time in a vaguely satisfying job.  I am stupidly obsessed with my stock portfolio, gardening, food, music and recently cosmetics (and of course, all things child-related).

I've recently begun to hatch an escape plan (from my current job) and will chronicle that adventure here as well as my various obsessions (because my friends are tired of hearing about them). :)
Thanks for stopping by, more content soon.
XOXO
-Kanga.